The Crazy's: Mary

I figured a good starting point before getting into all the crazy stories would be to do profiles for the idiots I am now forced to live around.  That is unless I swallow some Drano and end this.

Today's profile:  Mary

Mary is 85 years old.  I know this because she points this fact out in every crazy letter that she sends to the board.  Mary is a faker and pretends to be disabled.   She walks with a cane whenever people from the condo are around, but in reality is quite spry.  I've seen her at the grocery store getting around just fine and as soon as she saw me, put on her little act. 

Like any old person that just needs to die already, she has nothing better to do than watch everyone and complain about stupid things while adjusting her shit filled Depends.  The majority of her complaints involve parking violations.  Even though she has one car and zero visitors ever, she feels the need to complain when any resident uses guest parking.  Her son would come to visit, but he's in jail for being a kiddie diddler.

All of Mary's correspondences with the board are hand written, so it takes a while to decipher her shitty old timey verbiage letters. (1860 called, they want to sell you a typewriter). She rambles on about some garbage like petting dinosaurs and fucking Charlie Chaplin.

One of these days she is going to die in that condo and rot for months and no one will notice or give a shit.  I just hope they find her before she turns to goo and the smell kills the plants.

Welcome

I live in a condo, it sucks... So I'm going to post about my living hell and all the assholes, weirdos and psychos I have to deal with.

If you've ever thought about buying a condo, avoid it like the fucking plague.  Unless you want to buy my condo, in which case this is all a joke!  You should totally buy it because living here is so awesome!  Really though, I die a little inside every day.


Welcome to my hell.